What Are Little Boys Made Of?
by Ship's Cat
Summary: Sometimes the real tragedy of losing someone you love is surviving the loss, and no one is more fragile than children.
1. Default Chapter

**WHAT ARE LITTLE BOYS MADE OF?**  
**By**  
**Gail Gardner**  
  
  
**WAP!! WHANG!! WAP! BONK! BANG! WAPWAPWAP!!**  
  
The little blond haired boy happily beat the pots and pans scattered around him with a wooden spoon. The banging was a rhythm for the rest of the normal morning noise of the household.  
  
"Moooom! Where's my math book?" A boy's voice called from his room.  
  
"Right where you left it dear." The mother didn't miss a beat in stirring the morning oatmeal that would fuel her family for the morning. Stacks of toast, jars of jam, cheese, ham and other breakfast paraphernalia already graced the large oak table that dominated the warm country-style kitchen. A pot-bellied thermos held hot chocolate while the enticing adult aroma of fresh coffee burbled in the percolator.  
  
"Boys!" Lucille's sweet voice rose over the normal noises of the house. "Breakfast!" She swooped down to pick up the five year old would be percussionist and deftly disarmed him of the wooden spoon. He was plopped into a high chair that was perspicuously bolted to the floor. He immediately began to push on the table in an attempt to tip the chair over.  
  
"Nice try Alan. But no banana." His brother John, 10 years old, slid into his chair next to him and reached for toast.   
  
"Nana!! Wanna nana!" Alan began to yell.  
  
"Thank you John." His mother gave him a glare. "We are out of bananas this morning."  
  
"Here sprout." Virgil plopped into his chair and handed the noisy little boy a piece of cheese to savage. "This is a banana."  
  
"Alan is going to grow up confused at this rate." Scott took his place next to Virgil.  
  
"So what else is new?" Virgil asked as his mother set a steaming bowl of oatmeal in front of him. He reached for the sugar bowl.  
  
"Only two." His mother reminded him even though her back was turned.  
  
"Is Virgil getting fat?" John asked and ducked the side swipe neatly.  
  
"This is muscle, boy." The twelve year old thumped his chest.  
  
Jeff Tracy came into the kitchen with the red-haired Gordon tucked under his arm. He stopped at the stove to give his wife a very thorough kiss which provoked cat calls and groans from the boys around the table.  
  
"Mush!!" Alan yelled at a whispered prompting from John.  
  
"Looking to take out the garbage for the next week?" Jeff smiled wolfishly at the older blond brother.  
  
"No, sir!" John bent his head over his toast and jam ignoring the kicks that were sent his way under the table.  
  
Gordon was seated strategically between his parents. Accidents just seemed to follow the seven year old around. His parents were beginning to be suspicious on just how innocent the tipped over milk glasses and other small catastrophes that happened in and around Gordon.  
  
"Father said a bad word." Gordon announced to the table and reached for the hot cocoa thermos. His mother intercepted it deftly and poured for him. She raised a mobile eyebrow at her husband.  
  
"Stepped on a Lego." He muttered around a piece of toast.  
  
"You didn't step on our model, did you?" Thirteen year old Scott looked alarmed. He and Virgil had been building their own moon base for the last month. It had taken over most of their floor space and all the boys combined stash of Legos, including Alan's Duplos.   
  
"No, Scott. The offending piece was in the hall."  
  
"I might vacuum …" Lucille threatened.  
  
"We'll be more careful. Pleeaase Mom?" Virgil looked at his mother with dark soulful eyes that matched her own.  
  
"I'll vacuum when I get home from school." Scott promised.  
  
"You got a deal Buster." Lucille winked at her husband.  
  
Breakfast dissolved into a satisfied murmur of six men and one woman eating in harmony. Gordon tipped over his juice glass, but luckily he had already drunk most of it. He endured his mother's mild scolding with an angelic smile.  
  
Jeff Tracy sipped his coffee and basked in the complete happiness of his family. He had quit the Air Force last year to start his own company, Tracy Industries. It was a demanding job, and he hoped in the long run it would give him more time to spend with his family.   
  
His gaze passed over his five lively sons and settled on his beautiful wife. No one would figure her for the mother of five. She cooked, cleaned, raised the boys with love and discipline, and kept her husband madly in love her for 15 years.  
  
He cleared his throat and got the attention of everyone except Alan who was testing the gravity of toast.  
  
"Grandma called me this morning…"  
  
Faces brightened visibly around the table. Scott and Virgil nudged each other excitedly. Grandma was always good for a new box of Legos or paints or vids that just had to been seen.  
  
"Grandma - candy!" Gordon waved a spoon spattering jam across the table. His brothers ducked instinctively.  
  
"She's coming for a visit next week." Jeff waited patiently for the cheer led by his own wife to die down.  
  
"And she'll be babysitting you," Scott looked sour at the term 'baby sitting'. "While your mother and I spend a week in Switzerland skiing." He sat back with a self-satisfied smirk.  
  
"Jeff!" Lucille wasn't easily startled anymore, not since John's pet snakes escaped and infiltrated the house's plumbing system   
  
Gordon, revealing more physical agility than his parents had ever realized, ducked neatly out of the way as his mother threw herself at her husband.  
  
"Oh Jeff!" The boys might have learned more about their parent's love life if Alan hadn't decided that attention was needed elsewhere.  
  
"MUSH!" He yelled with no prompting.  
  
"Oh my." Lucille Tracy wiped her eyes with the hanky offered by her husband. "Jeff, I couldn't possibly…there's Virgil's practice sessions, Scott's dentist, the…"  
  
"All taken care of." Jeff raised her hand to his lips. Lucille never complained, but Jeff had noticed that she had been tired lately, plus he wouldn't mind a little time with her without some other young feller claiming her attention. It was about time that he came first.  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

  
The next week was busy with Lucille and Jeff preparing for their trip. Packing was done quickly and efficiently within a half an hour. The rest of the time was spent in reassuring the younger boys and placating the older ones with promised future treats if they would help Grandma Tracy with the younger ones.  
  
The fact that Grandma Tracy was always a complete success with the boys and parents helped make the trip more acceptable. Grandma spoiled everyone thoroughly, but didn't go so overboard that the parents had to intervene. Grandma was a great cook and considered that a young boy's diet included at least one chocolate cake a day or at least a plate of marvellous double chocolate cookies. Even Grandma's vegetables tasted good and special.   
  
It was a measure of Lucille's true state of fatigue when she fell asleep almost as soon as the plane left the ground. Jeff tenderly tucked the soft blanket around his sleeping wife's shoulders. She smiled in her sleep and slipped her hand into his.  
  
The ski resort was all that the Tracy couple could wish for, they had a little chalet located to one side of the main ski run and a ten minute walk to the main lodge complete with three four star restaurants, two night clubs, a disco, ski shop and a flotilla of absurdly expensive gift shops. The weather was with them as a new fall of clean powder snow greeted each new day. It was shaping up to be a record snowfall season.  
  
Their chalet had a small neat kitchen which Jeff immediately forbade his wife to use for anything more than making a cup of cocoa or tea. He took her out to eat for every meal or had them delivered to the chalet. They spent their days skiing and their nights…  
  
"Isn't five boys enough?" Jeff nibbled on his wife's ear.  
  
"I was sort of hoping to have our own soccer team..." Lucille nibbled in turn.  
  
"Ahhhh, wouldn't a volleyball team be more practical, mmmpphhh"  
  
The next morning found a nice new fall of 5 inches of prime powder. Jeff and Lucille made several good runs.   
  
"Hungry love?" Jeff kissed his wife.  
  
"Mmm hungry and hungry." She purred.  
  
"Look, I'll go order us lunch in." Jeff raised his eyebrows suggestively.  
  
"I'll take one more run." Lucille said.  
  
"Good! I think I'll need you a little less 'hungry'." Jeff rejoined.  
  
"Sweetheart, if you think that a little exercise is going to give you an edge on me." Lucille shot back at him and headed for the ski lift.  
  
Jeff ordered in their lunch and stopped off at one of the little gift shops to find a suitable bauble for the love of his life. A vibration through the soles of his feet caused him to look up from the silk scarf he was fingering. The huge windows overlooking the ski run gave him a spectacular view of the wall of snow that was wiping it's way down the mountain. He had a moment to dive behind the marble counter before the wall of white buried the hotel and half of the mountain.  
  



	3. Chapter 3

Grandma Tracy was taking the opportunity during Alan's nap to collect some of the boy's dirty clothes from their rooms. The boys all had laundry baskets, but the last wash had yielded a whopping amount of single socks and no t-shirts for John.  
  
Scott and Virgil's room was fairly neat, but the giant Lego construction taking up the whole floor had to be successfully navigated. The Tracy's could have afforded a house big enough for each boy to have their own room, but Lucille and Jeff wanted the boys to learn to share and be together. Only Alan had his own room, but maybe later there would be more children. Lucille certainly would see to that!  
  
Scott had a private little nest his father had built out of an old bunkbed. Almost totally enclosed , it was a bit of an adventure for here to climb the narrow ladder into the bed. It was fastidiously neat with a neat row of books in a built-in bookshelf. A judicious delve under the pillow revealed a magazine of questionable taste and two socks, unfortunately matching.  
  
She backed down carefully, neatly avoiding a Lego tower that would have better defied gravity on the moon than in the older boys room. Virgil's side of the room was also neat, except for the small corner that had become the boy's own ateljee. Virgil had received his first oil paints last Christmas, and despite a drop cloth, spatters of paint sprinkled the whole area. Grandma found a few socks and what she assumed was one of John's T-shirts being used as paint rags. She left them where they were, writing them off as lost causes.  
  
John's and Gordon's room was more chaotic. John's bed was completely covered in stuffed animals. Some his, some cast off from his brothers. Seeing how it was winter, several were dressed warmly in T-shirts and socks. Grandma confiscated the people clothes, but wisely dug up some old baby clothes which even might fit the fuzzy brigade better.  
  
Gordon's side of the room was a catastrophe. Grandma's shoe immediately stuck on some unknown sticky substance. His bed was a rumpled mass of sheets and blankets. Toys lay scattered around the bed like a minefield. A bowl of fat goldfish was the only pristine look on the dresser. She almost had a heart attack when she lifted the rumpled blankets off the bed and something skittered for cover under the dresser.  
  
Lucille hadn't been kidding when she asked if her mother-in-law's tetanus shots were up to date. Even Lucille wasn't sure how much wildlife shared her son's environments. Some preyed on other, keeping the animal population down, others escaped to the natural surroundings of the the backyard and hopefully further afield.  
  
A careful, but thorough search of Gordon's bed revealed four socks, one of which seemed to have been taken over as a residence for some kind of rodent.  
  
Well, a trip to the store to buy more socks wouldn't be a hardship, and maybe a little toy or two would be nice. Jeff had always been an intense, hard-working boy. They had been protective of him as their only child. Lucille had made him a relaxed, laughing man, and the father of five of the most wonderful grandchildren in the world. Maybe after this little vacation there would be another little Tracy to spoil and delight Grandma. A little girl would be nice.   
  
  
  



	4. Chapter 4

The siren wailed throughout the snow-filled valley. Already, small figures could be seen digging around buildings. There were some faint cries as people called out names or merely wept. Jefferson Tracy stood on the roof of the hotel looking hopefully up the mountain for some sign of life. The field of snow stretched up the slope, pristine, pure, and unmarked.

"Lucille." he croaked out. The bright scarf fluttered from his hand and drifted to lay crumpled at his feet.

It was close to dusk before the rescue workers began to work the slope. Jeff Tracy, used to giving orders was furious.

"Why are you taking so long!" He shouted at the ski patrol member.

"Monsieur! We must take caution, the slope is still dangerous. Believe me, we are doing this as fast as we can. You are not the only one who has lost someone." The man waved an arm around the hotel lobby where dozens of people sat looking just as shattered as Jeff Tracy felt.

"My wife..." Tracy said in a strangled voice. "She was on the slopes..."

The young man looked at him with pity. "I'm sorry, monseigneur but..." the man turned to go and then turned back. "I am so sorry."

The shopping trip had been an unqualified success. John only wandered away three times, he was found two times in the Discovery store fingering telescopes, and once in the candy store doing more than finger licorice whips. He was made to share which kept him closer to the group. Gordon had learned his lesson from earlier visits to the mall not to go swimming in the fountain, but there was a near miss in the pet shop with their new 100 liter aquarium. Alan insisted on pushing the stroller himself, careening around corners and bumping into people. Luckily, he did no lasting damage and was soon happy to be sitting in the stroller and be pushed by Grandma or his big brothers. Scott and Virgil were old enough to have some time on their own and made a beeline for Borders.

As a special treat, Grandma took them to the All-you-can-eat pizza place. They were well-known there and the staff knew them all by name and by capacity. Alan was allowed to pick off all the pineapple of everyone's pizza and he happily ate every bit he could lay his hands on. Scott and Virgil had the ability to drink more soft drinks than a herd of camels after a long desert journey. The trip home would be punctuated by heart felt belches and burps in amazing volume. Grandma didn't mind, and their little brothers were raptly entertained. No one was sure just how much Gordon ate as equal amounts eaten ended up in Gordon, on Gordon, and around Gordon up to one meter away. John was single-minded. He only ate the pepperoni olive and red pepper pizza - in great quantities. The staff figured that the skinny blond kid ate at least double his weight in pizza. There was never any profit from the Tracy's eating there. Luckily, it was only when with their grandma and that happened just a couple times a year.

The phone was ringing as the tired shoppers entered the house. Alan was draped over Grandma's shoulder, fast asleep. Scott was carrying a limp Gordon who had fallen asleep two minutes before they arrived. Virgil was manfully carrying bundles and packages.

"I'll get it!" John scampered for the phone. "Hi!" He answered and then remembering his manners, "This is the Tracy residence. John Tracy speaking." He returned Virgil's stuck out tongue with his own.

"John. Is Ruth there?" His father sounded funny.

"Daddy!" John squealed. "Hi! We just got back from shopping! I got five new socks, well five pairs of socks, not five cause that would mean one was missing..."

"John! Shut up! Put your Grandmother on the phone now!" Jeff Tracy shouted.

"D-daddy?" John's eyes were wide and filled with tears.

"I need to talk to your Grandmother. NOW!" Jeff bit out between his teeth.

John held the reciever out to his Grandmother without a word and fled the room crying.

Ruth shifted the sleeping Alan to her other shoulder and took the reciever. "Jeff? What on earth did you say to that child?"

"Mother. Just listen will you? Damn!"

"Jefferson Tracy! What is the matter with you?" Grandma's voice rose. Gordon raised a sleepy head off his brother's shoulder. Virgil was torn over listening or going to see what was wrong with John.

"There's been an accident. Lucille..." Jeff swallowed over a too dry throat.

"Dear Lord." Grandma plumped herself down on a nearby chair. Alan whimpered in his sleep and she automatically shushed him. "How bad ...?" she looked up to see three boys staring owlishly. "Wait a moment Jeff." she tried to smile. "Scott please put Gordon and John into bed. Virgil can you take care of Alan?" She handed him the snuffling child.

"Grandma?" Scott frowned. "Is there something wrong?" He and Virgil traded looks.

"Just do as I ask, please. Be good boys." The two older boys left the room reluctantly, but obeyed their grandmother.

"Now Jeff, just how bad is she hurt?" Ruth blinked back the onset of tears, she had to be strong for her son and his boys.

"She's gone." Jeff said flatly. "An avalanche hit the resort yesterday, we found her body, we found her about an hour ago. I've been trying to call." The last sentence was terse and accusing.

"We were shopping. Oh my, oh my dear Lucille. Oh Jeff, the babies! How can we tell the babies?"


	5. Chapter 5

Ruth Tracy sniffed into her handkerchief. She was on the third one today, and had a dozen more stuffed into her capable black purse. One was already drenched in her tears from the memorial service held in church. One been used to spit polish Gordon who got into something sticky from Lord knows where. The other had been loaned to Scott who had passed it down to Virgil to blow his nose in. Her boys stood in a line like little soldiers, or like one of those Russian matrushka dolls with smaller and smaller versions next to one another. Black didn't suit any of the Tracy men. The crisp white of their shirts had more color than their faces which were marked by dark circles around red tear-stained eyes.

To give them credit, including little Alan who held onto her hand tightly, they were all quietly somber. The coffin was plain, but of beautiful cherry wood. Lucille had loved cherry wood and had refinished all the kitchen cupboards in cherry herself. Jeff had complained occasionally that the cupboards got more affection and stroking than he ever did. Lucille did then offer to sand him down which stopped his complaints.

The weather was glorious, like the first days of spring the grass was sprouting and birds abounded. But they were burying Lucille Tracy today. Wife of Jeff Tracy, mother of Scott, Virgil, John, Gordon and Alan Tracy, daughter-in-law to Ruth Tracy. Pouring rain would have been better.

Military discipline kept Jeff Tracy standing straight at attention, the only softness about him was the hand resting lightly on his oldest son's shoulder. Scott in turn was holding on to Virgil's upper arm. Virgil and John were standing shoulder to shoulder with John leaning ever so slightly on his older brother, His other arm was wrapped around Gordon who kept his eyes fixed on his older brothers rather than the confusing ceremony with the big box happening in front of him.

The night of the phone call had changed the Tracy boys lives forever.

Scott knew something was wrong, something bad had happened. Luckily, Gordon was easy to hustle into his pj's only too glad to have skipped his bath. For someone attracted to bodies of water, Gordon had a strange anethma to baths. Only loads of bubbles and a navy of plastic boats would get him near washing water.

John sat on his bed nervously clutching his old teddy bear he was nervously rubbing the ear of the bear under his nose, a habit he had as a baby and only coming back when he was overtired or unhappy.

"Johnny." Scott said tossing some toys that were in Gordon's bed on the floor. "Get ready for bed, you heard Grandma."

John shook his head no and clutched the bear closer.

Scott dropped the little redhead on the bed and wrapped him up in the blanket. "G'night sport." He ruffled his little brother's already mussed up hair and went over to John.

"Hey. It's all right." Scott sat on the bed and put his arm around John.

"No, its not." John said quietly. "Something's wrong."

Virgil appeared at the door of John and Gordon's room. His expression was tense and worried looking. "Scott?" He shuffled his feet nervously and jerked his head towards the living room where they could hear the raised murmur of Grandma's voice, but not her words.

"Yeah. Just a sec..John." Scott patted the boy's bed.

"I'm not a little kid anymore." John said through his teeth and carefully put the teddy bear back on his bed.

"Scott?" Virgil asked looking at his older and next younger brother.

Scott closed his eyes for a moment then stood up and put out a hand to John. "Okay John. Let's talk to Grandma and Father."

The three boys stood in the doorway to the living room. Their grandmother was just hanging up the phone. They were shocked to see her crying. Grandma only cried during the vids she and Mom called chick flicks, or when she was happy, that's what she always said.

"Grandma?" Scott ventured a few bold steps into the room. His grandmother gave him a look that rocked him back on his heels. She sniffed and rubbed at her eyes with her sleeve.

"Virgil. Go get the box of tissues from the front bathroom." Scott ordered. "John. Get Grandma a footstool." The thirteen year old took charge even though his heart was hammering in his chest and his mouth felt dry.

The three boys knelt at her feet. John and Virgil leaning against her legs that were propped up on the footstool. Ruth Tracy took her oldest grandson's hands.

"There has been an accident." She began softly. "Lucille, your mother..." she swallowed and bravely continued. "Your mother is gone."

"Gone? Where?" Virgil asked.

"She's in heaven with the angels. Just like your Grandpa who went two years ago." Ruth explained and felt as Scott's hands turned icy cold.

"Only old people die." John said confusedly. "You said Grandpa was old and that is why he went to heaven. Momma isn't old. Momma's coming back, isn't she?"

Ruth carefully slid one of her hands from Scott's frozen grip. "No my dear, your mother is not coming back." She stroked the blond head of the boy looking up at her hopefully.

"No! I want Momma!" John burst into tears. Virgil immediately began to cry. Ruth let go of Scott and scooped up the wailing John into her lap. Virgil turned to his brother and flung his arms around him. "Scotty!" He wailed. "Mom, Mom..."

Scott swallowed back his own tears as he silently rocked his brother. The four Tracy's huddled together on the couch until they fell asleep from exhaustion.


End file.
